A questioned future

It seems everything around me is changing. The safe perimeters of my world are being ripped away in front of my eyes, leaving me exposed and questioning whether I even belong. Friendship groups have dispersed and you begin to wonder whether you were really ever deep friends in the first place... whatever that means! I don't blame anyone. Life goes on. People are getting married or moving away, making fresh starts and pursuing their careers. I am at that age, mid-twenty-something, where life moves rapidly around you, nothing is solid and nothing is certain. It's an exciting yet unsettling combination that one has to actively adjust to and take in their stride. I intend to do just that, but, my optimism is accompanied by a very real anxiety that proves difficult to suppress.

Unhappy and under-challenged at work I decide to ignore the fact that we are in the midst of a recession, I shrug in the face of the poor economic climate that surrounds the high streets, and I decide to look for something new. It's not completely ridiculous, like most people I am struggling to afford to buy much more than a packet of crumpets and those smart price bananas each week. The part-time charity wage is not a stable career path nor a life-long commitment, and so I figure that now is as good a time as any to look at my options... Except the options are few!!

I could go back to university and complete some kind of Masters degree. This would mean more expense, greater debt and it would not even guarantee a job at the end of it. It would however be fairly interesting and could, potentially, lead somewhere new.

The other alternative, other than actually finding myself some kind of paid, full-time employment, is to find myself an internship. This would, hopefully, lead onto full-time employment in a career that is more enjoyable and rewarding. Managing to secure such an internship, preferably a paid one, is a challenge in itself but the main concern, for me, is my lack of really knowing what I want to do. I enjoy writing, well I enjoy writing my blog, but how could I use this in the workplace and would this really fulfill me? I am still unsure.

This is my distinctive ponder. A forked path. A questioned future.